LAS VEGAS (FOX5) — Dean McAuley was a career firefighter the night of the Route 91 Harvest festival shooting. Years later, he says a horse gave him something no person could.
“It gives you the peace and it gives you a little bit of the it’s going to be okay that not a single person can give you because you don’t feel judged with the horse,” McAuley said.
‘Nothing made sense’
McAuley said he treated roughly 30 to 40 patients the night of the shooting and was unable to save some of them.
“All of a sudden shots rang out and the whole world changed for us,” he said.
In the weeks that followed, McAuley said he struggled to process what he had experienced.
“I think I was in shock for probably a good month after that. Nothing made sense. It seemed like a dream,” he said.
McAuley said his mental state deteriorated to the point where he had suicidal thoughts.
“You start having thoughts. You have suicidal thoughts. You have like, I am not going to be right. I’m letting people down. This is not going to be good,” he said.
Equine therapy and EMDR
McAuley said he found his way back through EMDR and equine therapy. The Stable Arena in Las Vegas offers both services to survivors of the shooting.
Yvonne Justice, another survivor, said she also found relief through the program.
“I suffered with extreme anxiety after the shooting,” Justice said. “Through the course of multiple sessions, but especially a weekend intensive. It just went away. It’s literally been gone for years now.”
Justice said the program also helped her manage sensory triggers common among survivors.
“Any survivor knows the sound of a water bottle. To the average person, again, you don’t get it, but a survivor knows the sound of a water bottle, that crackling, it hits us. I’ve learned a lot over the years in how to ground myself,” she said.
Hope for others
McAuley lives in Seattle but considers the Las Vegas valley an extension of home. He said he shares his story in hopes of helping other survivors of trauma, including and beyond 1 October.
“My hope is that it can release people and let them love again and let them be at peace with each other,” he said.
Justice said the shared experience of 1 October has created a lasting bond among survivors.
“You can walk up to a stranger on the street and see them in some type of Route 91 gear. You can walk up and introduce yourself and hug a complete stranger just because you have a family in them,” she said.
McAuley said he also hopes to one day make peace with the family of a person who died in his arms the night of 1 October.
If you want to learn more about The Stable Arena and the services they provide, click here.
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